I feel I'm gonna have to drive crazy you know? Just a little crazy. Amm.. i think I actually AM crazy.. ha. Hmm.. it feels so dawn strange.. it's like.. I'm miseryn'..you know? I think I'm actually confusing romanticism with reality, and.. I know I don't have to.. I mean.. I really shouldn't do that. Anyway, which is my reality? I'm so confused right now.. so.. I don't know.. who cares? you know? I'm listening to Nina Simone down here, and I feel so strong, but at the same time so dawn weak.. like if every woman in this hole world were .. strong but me. And the worst thing of it all, is that men are strong .. but I mean REALLY strong. So probably, and I mean.. I'm almost sure that in this same moment in which I'm so confused and almost cryin' he's.. I don't know.. thinking in another girl.. you know? or maybe don't even thinking in girls.. I mean why should HE be thinking in .. girls? just.. girls?? when he ignores completely the fact of being in a relationship.. and I'm soo dyin'.. I mean.. literally dyin' to be with him. I'm really losing time.. am I? It's just that I can't help it.. You may see me laughing every single day.. but when I'm alone, I mean.. me and myself only, I look deeply into myself and I see I really miss him, I really need him.. Although I feel I barely know him.. and I probably don't mean much to him although he tells me he misses me and loves me.. I.. I.. I mean.. next year he will be in university.. meeting people.. so interesting people.. women.. He'll probably forget me. And probably I will be hanging around with some other guy.. thinking I'm happy just the way I am.. but.. then I will meet with myself again.. and I'll discover I'm not really happy at all.. because I need him.. you know? I feel so stupid.. by sayin' I love him.. and so empty pretending I don't. Years will go by and I'll be in this same situation.. am I? I really wanna forget him.. but can I? So many months have already gone through and we haven't seen each other, touched each other.. I don't know.. I really think he feels great the way we are.. beacuse the way we are.. is kind of.. we aren't.. I mean.. we aren't together.. is like there's no US anymore. I feel this hole ideas and misserys are just in my head, but not in his. This is so dawn .. stupid. Ha. Stupid girl.. that's what I am.. but I am so smart.. I mean.. I can't be cryin' inside because of him.. either way.. I am. I... am. Just.. I think I .. I'm sad. Yeah.. I'll have to get over soon.. so much time wasted.. just wondering why we are so far away from each other.. distance... makes it all so different..I can't believe how smart I am.. and at the same time how silly I am.. I mean.. what is a girl so interesting and pretty as I am.. cryin' for a guy, when there are so many dwan boys just walking around? You know? I'll have to forget him.. really.. I guess there is no other way.. forget him the way he has done with me.. not even caring about him.. just hang around and have fun.. you know? Like I used to.. before I fell in love.